The Woman I want to Be
The Woman I Want to Be
What does she look like? What does she act like? What does she believe in her heart of hearts? Where are the holes in her soul? Where are her open wounds? What has caused her scars? What still lurks beneath the surface, waiting to be resolved? What still exists within her that is powerful enough to bring her down and destroy her?
I’ll tell you the answers. She looks like me. Just like me. She is short in stature; petite. She has smile lines and crow’s feet are etched into her face. Her hair is thin and wispy and going to gray. But her eyes are alive, full of passion, and able to see herself clearly. Her eyes twinkle and wink and look past surfaces to see into the depths of herself, and sometimes into others.
She acts as though she believes what she says. Indeed, she is not acting anymore. She is living out her desires, which have changed, or rather, have been restored. So she lives authentically. Her movements are purposeful and sometimes even graceful. She is happy and centered, and lives that way in front of others. Others see this and are drawn to her.
She believes, deeply, that recovery is readily available for and to her. Her spirit cries out, instructing her to pursue this worthy course. Her deepest heart-felt longings are slowly evolving, from only knowing and feeling pain, loss, loneliness, abandonment and ultimately, nothingness—to the hopeful belief that recovery is real. She knows it comes at a cost and her heart sings with the realization it is worth any price.
What does she look like? What does she act like? What does she believe in her heart of hearts? Where are the holes in her soul? Where are her open wounds? What has caused her scars? What still lurks beneath the surface, waiting to be resolved? What still exists within her that is powerful enough to bring her down and destroy her?
I’ll tell you the answers. She looks like me. Just like me. She is short in stature; petite. She has smile lines and crow’s feet are etched into her face. Her hair is thin and wispy and going to gray. But her eyes are alive, full of passion, and able to see herself clearly. Her eyes twinkle and wink and look past surfaces to see into the depths of herself, and sometimes into others.
She acts as though she believes what she says. Indeed, she is not acting anymore. She is living out her desires, which have changed, or rather, have been restored. So she lives authentically. Her movements are purposeful and sometimes even graceful. She is happy and centered, and lives that way in front of others. Others see this and are drawn to her.
She believes, deeply, that recovery is readily available for and to her. Her spirit cries out, instructing her to pursue this worthy course. Her deepest heart-felt longings are slowly evolving, from only knowing and feeling pain, loss, loneliness, abandonment and ultimately, nothingness—to the hopeful belief that recovery is real. She knows it comes at a cost and her heart sings with the realization it is worth any price.
Peace be with you
Beth🌿🌾❤️
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